A Series of Aperture Equipment, Metaphorically
by Twilight Okami
Summary: A series-of-one-shots taking place after 'Portal 2'. Chell discovers that civilisation is in ruins so she returns and stays with the witty, sardonic GLaDOS and her other minions. See how life goes on in a post-apoclyptic, wacky laboratory known as Aperture XD! Mainly focusses on Chell, GLaDOS and Wheatley but others characters have their roles too.
1. Chapter 1: The Comeback

A SERIES OF APERTURE EQUIPMENT, METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING

**Author's Note: As mentioned in the summery; this story is a series of one-shots revolving around what happens after '**_**Portal 2**_**' so expect spoilers for both games. Each one-shot will be humorous, sad, happy and so on. Story arcs will come in later. Enjoy and I don't own '**_**Portal**_**' :)!**

Chapter 1: The Comeback

Walking through the wheat field felt like eternity. Same old things kept repeating; swish, swish, swish that came from the wheat swaying in the silent wind. Plus the hot weather wasn't exactly encouraging a certain person walking across the field with a cube in her hands.

Chell, mute and former test subject of Aperture who left the facility two days ago, was walking across the golden field with her Companion Cube in hands, panting and grunting. Sweat was dripping down her slightly tanned skin as she moved slowly like a turtle across the fields.

How long was it till she finds civilization? When will she reach a city or town? Every anticipation and thought going through her head made the mute dizzy and nauseas. Her stomach grumbled like a miniature earthquake marking that she was hungry. Recently her only food was a rabbit that wandered across the field yesterday afternoon. Today she was less fortunate; there were no rabbits or water even.

Water, she hadn't had any since she was back at Aperture. Yes, there was water in the overgrown facility; from the leaves and even under the dubbed Old Aperture there was water due to the dampness. Without water her tongue was dry and crackle like the wheat themselves and her eyes were blurry as if she was staring directly at the sun.

At least back in Aperture it was cooler due to the moisture and greenery unlike this place, which was a desert compared to the decayed ruins of Aperture. Honestly, Chell shouldn't be thinking about Aperture in the slightest, especially when it is _positive. _Still she could help it; this heat was unbearable, food was scare along with water and her Companion Cube was weighing her down. Debating whether to keep the cube or not the mute walked over to a tree she noticed and sat down on the hard earth against the tree, glancing skywards, slowly inhaling and exhaling for much needed cooled off the mute noticed what seemed like a shape of a half-barrel.

Curious and cautious, Chell placed the cube beside her and crawled over like a helpless baby over to the barrel, praying inward that there was some water for her to drink. She needed the nutrients to keep her going and find civilisation. If there was no water than she'd probably die from heat, thirst and hunger the day to follow. This situation seemed like a gamble on a slot machine; get three numbers or whatever equal and you win. With a deep, hallow sigh she clutched the edge and peered over, the moment of truth to unveil like a drama show.

_Water_, about a quarter of the half-barrel full of the liquid. Automatically she clutched the half-barrel like a teddy bear and drank quietly and in serenity, appreciating and inhaling as much as her dry mouth demanded for. With a sigh of satisfaction, the mute lowered the barrel and wiped her mouth from any water that rained down like a raindrop. At least she had the water she desperately needed and now she could have something to eat. Blue eyes glanced over and regarded the heart-plastered cube, pondering and debating once more whether to take it or a light push, Chell got up from her position and continued forward leaving the Companion Cube near the silhouette tree to be forever in solitude…

* * *

Another day passed as Chell walked through the never-ending wheat field and her stomach started to grumble more constantly than yesterday as if something was about to burst. She must have lost a few kilos, maybe two to three. Thinking about weight brought back the memories of GLaDOS, who'd always tease her about her 'fatness'.

The Genetic Life-Form and Disk Operating system or many who knew her by her acronym name, GLaDOS, wasn't your stereotypical AI. She was witty, a narcissist and she had a dark, dry humour that sounded like she was stating the obvious. There were many occasions when the Goddess of Aperture tried to tempt her and kill her during her testing back at Aperture but at one point the two tost aside their differences and battled together as two unusual, unlikely companions.

Wait, why was she thinking about GLaDOS? She should be ecstatic and thrilled that she left that AI behind along with the facility! Yet it was quite difficult being thrilled in this unknown, solitude region by yourself… and it was hard to forget the place that changed her.

'_It must be the hunger,_' Thought Chell unpleasantly, looking for some excuse for her ponders on Aperture and GLaDOS. '_Yeah, it's making me delusional…'_

As she preceded her enduring, stamina quest for civilization something caught her attention in the distance. Looked like some sort of a square-based prism but it was hard to tell due to the radiating sunlight. Lifting her arm to cover her face, Chell saw clearly that, that solid was in fact a building. A wave of relief, joy and self-gratitude consumed the mute who just couldn't believe what she saw.

That building no doubt marked civilization!

Just over that hill would be a city, a city of new hope and life. Some new kind of energy out of the blue transformed the tired mute into an energetic girl who just dashed up the hill like there was no tomorrow. There was a smile on the girl's face as she ran as fast as her legs could go. This was what she wanted, this is what she desired this is what she _needed_. When she reached the top of the hill all her joy, anticipation, relief and belief were shattered like glass and replaced with the opposite emotions; of horror, flabbergast, disappointment and scandalize.

Right in front of her was a city, a destroyed city. Buildings were tilted to the side, some with broken windows and some barely standing. Decay embraced every building both standing and collapsed. Chell dropped to the ground butt first in utter shock, her sky blue eyes glued to the decayed city. This wasn't what Chell dreamed for. How could this have happened? Human were the most advanced creatures on Earth!

'_No… this can't be…' _She thought unpleasantly.

All she ever fought for back at that place that-shall-not-be-mentioned, all she went through, all she endured was for nothing. She missed her opportunity of life.

'_Maybe there's some people living there or at least some food' _She pondered desperately, the grumbling of her stomach not encouraging the mood.

Getting up from her place, Chell walked slowly over to the decayed city for food and hopefully human life. The last one she really doubted…

* * *

Everything about this abandon city was eerie and ghost-like. Those building that still stood tall loomed over any unwelcomed guests and other creatures that prowled the area like dogs. Crows cawed in the distance and fluttered away when the mute walked by. Chell glanced around the area in caution as she walked, feeling like she was being watched.

'_What has happened to this place for the past who-knows how many years?' _Chell pondered. '_I can't imagine any person living here…'_

As she walked through the deserted streets a sudden shriek was heard. She paused, glancing around like a meerkat, trying to find the source of the noise. It only took one step and the shrieking came back, louder than before. Chell turned around, looking around the area for the noise.

'_What was that noise-'_

Suddenly a loud shrill was heard from behind which made Chell turn around in fright and reflex. Sky blue eyes widen and a breathless gasp escaped her lips at the creature in front of her.

It was like some kind of a mantis/grasshopper thing with leaf green skin, four legs; two at the back that went forward and two at the front that went back and squared head that had miniature, spider-like pincers rising up and down to intimidate its foe. Another shrill came from the creature and it moved in for the strike. Without a second of thought, Chell immediately turned and ran as fast as she could with the mantis-like creature chasing behind. All the silence in the city was cut off by the banging pincers that smashed the earth like nothing and the shrieks that called for it's prey.

'_W-What kind of creature is that? Is it one of those mantis-man that possibly escaped Old Aperture?' _Chell frightfully thought, feeling sweat sliding down her skin like tears.

Before she could realize that the shrieking stopped and it was replaced by a flutter of wings, the mute glanced over her shoulder then back to see the creature in front of her charging. Too late to react, one of the creature's pincer rose and it grazed Chell's upper arm. She winced at the long scar across her arm but she didn't moan about it. Instead she took a turn to the left and ran once more with the creature behind stalking dangerously close.

Ever since she tested back at Aperture, Chell has developed many skills; her running speed and rate has improved, her thinking has improved and her reflexes have improved; if she was slower before, then she could have had a huge scar across her chest to stomach than her arm. Her panting was starting to become frequent which was starting to slow her down that made the creature gain it's distance closer.

She took another turn and ran across the main street with just her and the creature stalking. If Chell had her trusty, personal device, the ASHPD or the Portal Gun then she could have teleported out but right now she was defenceless. When the two reached an interval, the mute noticed at the corner of her eye a partly broken 'one way' sign that just lay there on the earth. In a quick slide, Chell dashed toward the sign. The creature once again leapt into the air, it's wings opened and fluttering like a bee's. Thinking that running wouldn't allow her to get on time the mute dived, grasped the metallic bar and twisted it like a Kwan Dao spear, her sky blue eyes closed in anticipation.

Shortly a cry of agony was heard, echoing across the eerie buildings and startling some crows that fluttered around in fear. Slowly and surely, those sky blue eyes opened to see the creature lay there limp with the metallic bar piercing through its abdomen through it's back like a claymore. Lime coloured liquid oozed down like rain against the bar. Even though the creature was dead, Chell still continued to pant from the tiredness and fear. Who would have ever thought that creatures like these roamed the streets of an abandon building?

Luck played a major part for Chell once more but she had a feeling that if she encountered another one of those mantis-creatures she wouldn't be so lucky. Feeling a bit awkward staring at the dead creature that weighed her down, she pushed the creature off with a grunt and slammed it to the ground, eyeing it closely. So this is the reality.

Unfortunately it is true… that she is the last human being…

A sombre look crossed her face as she pondered on being the last human and her own survival. There could be more of those mantis-creatures roaming the streets or even worse creatures that would hunt in this city both morning and night. One metallic bar and one human wouldn't stand a chance against those odds.

What about the seasons? Would winter snow and freeze Chell to death? How about water? If there is water, there would be creatures drawn to that place like some sacred shrine and defend it.

Could she even… bare the solitude?

Chell gave another deep, sullen sigh. This wasn't what she wanted, but honestly, this wasn't what she didn't expect. After all, she's been in deep sleep for hundreds of years so, so much has changed, but she didn't like this kind of drastic change. There was nothing here for her, nothing at all. She had no chance of surviving all on her own…

For a second, she was tempted to cry.

But somehow she held it together for an idea came to mind giving her a slight hope. It was the kind of idea one would thing you'd be crazy to gamble with; an idea that she didn't think she'd possibly agree on.

Simple, it was to go back to Aperture.

One of Chell's fists clenched at the dire thought. GLaDOS would no doubt be furious at her comeback, but it was the only way she could stay alive. There was water, food and shelter there for her, just sitting there in hiding within the never-ending golden wheat fields. But she might force her to test over and over till the day she died or be suffocated by neurotoxin. Still, it was the only way for her survival and a risk she was going to take. For a few seconds that felt like forever Chell stared at the creature, still debating the idea and it's flaws.

'_I don't think GLaDOS will be pleased with my return, but it's the only way for my survival. Besides, it's better there than here,' _She thought as she stared at the dead caracas. As she continues to stare at the dead creature that still oozed its blood a grumble was heard from her stomach. Blue eyes narrowed in distaste and embarrassment. '_I do hope that thing is edible…'_

She dreaded the fact that she had to _eat _that abnormal creature that just tried to murder her a short while ago yet her stomach kept debating, tempting her and begging her to eat something. Using the broken bar, she tore through the side and cut out a large piece of green meat that reeked of the lime blood. Reluctantly and slowly, Chell took a huge bite off the piece. After a gulp her face twisted in slight disgust. It tasted like… well it was hard to say.

Many years have passed since Chell ate meat and it was all a blur for her to distinguish whether it tasted like chicken, beef or other meat she has tried in the past. Her taste buds have adapted and changed so much over time; it was like this meat tasted like _nothing _at all. At least it was edible and not poisonous. In one last gulp the mute broke into a deserted shop and picked up an old, slightly shattered arm bag and went back to the dead creature and once again cut some more meat pieces that she stuffed into the bag, getting prepared for the journey ahead, a comeback to Aperture that would take her three days or two in-a-half.

'_Time to leave…' _She declared as she hung the bag over her shoulder.

In a sprint, Chell began her comeback journey to Aperture, leaving the last ruins of civilization to rest in piece…

* * *

Almost a week past since she left Aperture to reach civilization but now ironically she was coming _back _to Aperture, the place she dreamed of leaving. All the meat she took from that mantis-creature three days ago definitely paid off; its blood also supplied her not just food but water too. Glancing up at what was in front, ignoring the tense sunlight, she saw the one and only shed, the gateway to Aperture. She took off the bag and dropped it to the ground and she then approached slowly towards the shed.

For as long as she could remember, she was always fighting and enduring hard to escape the dreadful facility, the tests and the AI. Now she wanted to return and stay there and try to live a new life. One of her hands stroked the rusted door because she was still finding this ironic.

'_So this is it, I'm coming back Aperture…' _Chell sighed guiding her hand to the handle, hoping it would open.

Fortunately it did. In one pull the door was open and the lift just stood there as if it did for all its life. Without a second thought the mute entered the elevator and turn to face the glass. A hiss came as the elevator door closed and descended into the bowls of the robot-occupied facility and into _her _chamber.

Speaking of that, Chell wondered what she should sign to GLaDOS and what her reactions would be. Anger and curiosum? Definitely; happy and eagerness? Not at all… Would she kill her or would she not was the main question that's been circling the mute's head like a whirlpool. Soon the elevator reached its destination and low and behold was the Goddess of Aperture, the Genetic Life-form and Disk Operating System, GLaDOS herself, her body facing away.

Some thought she's abnormal, others thought she is beautiful. In reality, she was a balance of both. A body that hanged like ropes from the ceiling with two massive wires sticking up as if someone was doing upside down acrobatics on a swing; titanium, white-painted plates positioned on her with the engraved Aperture logo and a golden optic that shone with calmness yet decisiveness. Truly, GLaDOS was a beautiful, abnormal AI, naturally. Said AI turned her chassis to Chell, her golden optic that blazed like the sun eyed her like an owl. A breathless gasp came from Chell's crunched up throat; she forgot how huge the AI really was.

"Well, well, well, the dangerous, mute, lunatic once again ignored what I clearly said and has returned," GLaDOS spoke with her sardonic, false innocence tone. Her golden optic narrowed in disapproval, bearing into Chell's blue eyes. "You have some nerve coming back; hoping for me to give you cake? Honestly, you must be really desperate, but then again someone of your obese nature would be addicted…"

Using her signing skills she's been taught, Chell signed-_**Civilization is gone; I need food, water and shelter. This was the only place that could come to my mind.**_

For a second Chell swore she saw a look of surprise wash over the omnipotent AI. "Wow; I thought you were desperate for cake. But now I can see that you are really, _really _desperate in staying alive," GLaDOS replied, rearing up her chassis in mock scandalize. "I almost feel sorry for someone of your… interests…"

Again, Chell signed-_**I know you don't like me too much, but I have nowhere else to go, so I came back.**_

"After _six days _you finally thought about returning? Hmmm… perhaps you really are brain damaged. That won't do well for testing… On the other hand, I find your desperation and brain damaged mind quite amusing. I've now officially recorded it so I can play it over again, and again, and again. So congratulations; you've proved that weight is no boundary and how dumb you and your dead humans really are; I've also noticed that you abandon your Companion Cube. Poor cube; it's probably sulking and cursing you, metaphorically speaking" GLaDOS stated amusingly.

_**Please… **_Chell begged and with a sigh, she gave a sullen, desperate and stubborn look and signed-_**can I stay here with you and the rest of Aperture?**_

There was that look again; the look that GLaDOS despised the most. Ever since she tried to test the mute, she always had that same look on her. Chell used to be so stoic but now she was being so emotional about living here with her. Back in Old Aperture the two formed a team, a duo who would fight to save her facility. GLaDOS widen her golden optic slightly at the memory.

She hated the feeling of being a potato; defenceless and mocked. Yet her sworn enemy waltzed in and saved her from the bird, fought her way and placed her back to her righteous body. Honestly, GLaDOS didn't… hate the test subject. She just _disliked _her presence. But fair's fair; she helped GLaDOS now GLaDOS was returning the favour. Once again the AI narrowed her optic and questioned.

"Do you have any murderous intentions?"

Chell shook her head.

GLaDOS gave off a metallic sigh in defeat. "Very well then; you may stay…"

A look of flabbergast and disbelief crossed the once-enemy human who inwardly jumped in joy and relief. A smile was placed on her face, a smile of rapturous joy, relief and hope.

"But," Her smile vanished into a frown when the AI added something gleefully. "You are to collect your own water and food; not too much food otherwise you'll grow fat, not that you aren't already. Plus, you _will_ be doing some tests whenever I demand for, are we clear?"

Chell groaned at the test part, her sky blue eyes staring at the golden optic in annoyance, light fear and mercy.

"Oh don't look so surprised; you had this coming after all. Think of it as a… gift from your comeback" GLaDOS stated when she saw the agitated look.

_**Can I at least have a piece of cake as a gift? **_Chell signed in humour and rhetorically.

"You're still going on about cake? How pitiful," There was a hum of deep thought imitating from the AI. She gave off a robotic shrug. "Well I don't see why not…"

Chell glanced up in surprise as if she witnessed a murder. That answer wasn't what she expected. Maybe GLaDOS had a change of heart-

"It's filled with rot and maggots that'd be perfect for you digestive system and pleasure" She added emotionlessly with a dark chuckle at the end.

Blue eyes narrowed, completely forgetting about what she was thinking off-_**Well aren't you nice.**_

"Don't demand too much from me, test subject. Be grateful that I'm allowing you to stay here. Why, I can't believe I'm even _tolerating _you; it's that torturous. I should receive an award for what I'm doing so don't gloat about it. Also you should bandage that scar across your arm, otherwise blood will drip down and stain the floors that I will _not_ clean after," Chell glanced down at the arm that was healing slowly. She completely forgot about the wound till it was mentioned. "Now take your weight and waddle to the elevator where two of my testing robots will escort you… hopefully to the incinerator where you will relax and stay warm" Declared the AI, who flicked her head to the elevator.

Sometimes it was hard to tell whether GLaDOS was being serious or sarcastic. Without a word, Chell turned and paced over to the elevator. Before she could take a few steps in, she turned and signed-_**Hey, GLaDOS…**_

"What is it? Can't you see that I'm preparing the incinerator for you?" Demanded the mocked-irritated AI who turned to her, her golden optic blazing in impatience.

A few seconds passed and Chell signed with a sly smile-_**Thankyou. To be honest I missed this place… **_She shot another smile and signed slowly-_**And I also missed you…**_

"You must be absolutely delusional. Now leave before I change my mind" GLaDOS snorted.

'_A typical reaction' _Once again, Chell went back into the elevator, which hissed down to the next level, leaving the omnipotent, witty AI alone. This was her first day to start her new life… and avoid neurotoxins…

* * *

**Author's Note: First one-shot complete :); I hope you all enjoyed it. Also, that mantis like creature thing is called an 'Antlion' from '**_**Half-Life 2**_**'. I think this will be the only one-shot to use '**_**Half-Life' **_**references but if you like, I may add more in later chapters. Please leave a review and critic on whether it needs improvement or if its good enough to be continue, thank you :D.**


	2. Chapter 2: The First Unusual Day

A SERIES OF APERTURE EQUIPMENT, METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING

Chapter 2: The First (Unusual) Day

So many things were going through Chell's head that she was starting to get a small headache. First she wanted to leave Aperture for good and start anew then she _returns _to Aperture and start anew. On top of that, GLaDOS allowed her (reluctantly) to stay and have a shelter.

But she had to do some tests whenever the AI called for, which Chell assumed would be a lot just so that GLaDOS could torture her. Still, she was alive and not wandering across the abandon city alone…

Once the elevator reached it's destination, Chell stepped out and began her pace up the stairs.

"You shall begin testing now," GLaDOS spoke through the PA in enthusiasm. "The Portal Gun is up ahead along with deadly Turrets dominate to kill you"

At that mentioned, Chell froze as if someone spotted her and then she flicked her head over to the white camera eyeing her emotionlessly, her blue eyes wide in scandalize and betrayal.

A humorous chuckle was heard "Just kidding"

Chell sighed in relief and then she gave off a glare and frown towards the camera.

"Oh come on, it was just a joke. You do know what a joke is right? It's when I make fun of you and your reactions, like the one you just had now and the one you had when I tried to push you into that pit of fire during your first… episode" GLaDOS explained as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Deciding to argue back, Chell signed-_**Yeah; so you better be nice to me so I won't cause a third 'episode'.**_

"What's this; a mock coming from you? Dear me, I thought you've changed, but I was clearly wrong and you're still the same, ugly, unloved test subject. No cake for you, you monster" GLaDOS replied in mock surprise and hurt.

_**And you're still the same witty, melodramatic, dry and dark humoured AI that I've somehow managed to put up with.**_

"I'm sure all of Aperture commends you for that…" Grumbled the AI. "Now hurry over to my two testing robots that'll escort you, whether it's the incinerator, Turret room or to a pit of toxic water. You're call; oh right, I forgot, you can't speak. Maybe I can choose for you. Ha, ha, ha"

'_Some things will never change…' _

Rolling her eyes, Chell continued up the stairs through the automatic door till she reached a dry-painted room filled with greenery and wonderful nature. She paused when she saw two unusual figures in front of her.

Both were robots, but not the Turret kind. One was tall, skinny and feminie looking with an orange optic that twitched nervously. The other was round, excited looking with a navy blue optic that sparkled in pride. When they noticed Chell they gave of a series of beeps as a way to exchange between themselves with their 'language'.

Trotting over, both robots appeared beside a scandalized Chell who was currently being inspected and admired at by the two testing robots. The feminie looking one flopped Chell's arm up as if it were a broken wing while the round one just manoeuvred around like a solider in a swamp to gaze up at the girl.

"These are my two testing robots you saw when I-sorry, _Caroline_-rescued you from space," GLaDOS commented, her tone carrying distaste when the she mentioned 'Caroline'. "Their names are Orange and Blue"

'_Great originality GLaDOS_' Chell thought sarcastically.

"They'll be the ones to dispose of you- I mean 'escort' you to your chamber, which will be quite a distance from me just for the sake of recurring murder" The AI added, clearly trying to scare the test subject.

_**You're being awfully nice today- **_Chell signed, a look of surprise and scepticism washing over her face.

"Again, it's just you being delusional. But if you must know, this is just absolute torture for me to keep you here in my once beautiful facility that you humbly destroyed without a second thought or care. Third times the charm they say, well, who'll have the charm? You destroying my facility and me or I destroying you? Hopefully it'll be for me, considering I didn't get the chance the first time around…"

_**Let's not find out… **_Chell signed worryingly.

"Shame, for me anyway," GLaDOS paused and turned the camera to the two robots. "Orange, Blue, escort our little troublemaker to her chambers"

Dubbed Orange and Blue obeyed and they started to escort Chell through the decayed, overrun facility.

"And another thing, -Subject Name Here-," GLaDOS called. Chell paused along with the two testing robots and turned to the camera. "This may come as a great shock to you because what I'm about to say is completely out of character…"

This made Chell quite interested in what her old time foe was about to say. Could it be that she was trying to say 'thankyou' or 'it's great to have you back'? Perhaps GLaDOS was starting to become nice-

"Make sure you clean that jump suit; I won't have you testing with that suit being so filthy…" She finished with a lighter, amused note.

Never mind…

* * *

Much of the equipment was restored since the 'Wheatley' incident six days ago. Most of the broken test chambers were restored; broken tiles were replaced with new ones (not brand new), some vegetation was burnt away and destroyed equipment was replaced with working ones. GLaDOS was definitely busy while Chell was gone on her civilization search.

Well, here she was again, but was it such a pleasure, who knows. One thing for sure was that Chell had to try and stay alive. Currently the two robots were escorting out of the chambers through a series of offices and meeting boardrooms. Chell tried to ask what Orange and Blue's real names were but the two repeated their says in a series of beeps.

_**Hey my favourite-melodramatic-cruel-AI… **_Chell signed, taking a pause from the long walk.

"Yes, my favourite-person-on-the-top-humans-to-murder-list?" GLaDOS copied.

_**Out of curiosity, what kind of animals will I find here in Aperture that's edible? I mean I know how to get water but not food.**_

There was a slight pause. "Hmmm… well, just recently a group of stray canines have been wandering around these rooms, peeing on _my _equipment. Hopefully you can eat them for the sake of this facility being smelly and rusted" She explained in annoyance and agitation, clearly not making up the stray dogs.

_**Uh, anything 'wild'? **_Chell signed, not exactly looking forward to eating an abandon dog.

"There is the deer, which I recently saw yesterday, but I wouldn't want it to be gobbled up by your stupid nature," The AI added. "Apart from that, there is a couple of wild pigs, lizards, foxes, racoons and _birds_" Chell could have sworn she saw a glint of pleasure from the camera when GLaDOS mentioned birds.

_**Still haven't gotten over your fear of birds? **_Chell signed curiously and amusingly, a sly smile on her face.

"They're evil and they know too much so it would do me and Aperture a great favour if you could eat the stray, unloved dogs and the evil, know-it-all birds" Grumbled the AI.

_**I'm not going to eat those two, but I'll eat the wild pigs, foxes and racoons inhabiting the area-**_The mute declared.

"Why not? Is it because you're like those unloved, smelly, ugly dogs? Oh, I just answered my own question. But as for the birds-wait, they're evil, like you" GLaDOS inquired.

Ignoring the AI, Chell continued her pace with the two testing robots leading the way ahead. Usually one on a 'tour' would ask questions but the two robots couldn't speak English which made Chell wonder why they weren't built to know English while the Turrets, who dare she say were less advance were made to understand English…

Deciding to ignore the thought, the mute began to ponder on how she'd live in the abandon, overgrown facility under her former, AI foe. Would there be animals to roam the deserted areas of Aperture like a bunch of cockroaches? Will there be enough water for her throughout the days and nights? Could she even trust her care under GLaDOS?

No surprisingly she declared that she'd test whenever she calls for it, but Chell wondered if the Goddess of Aperture would strike her when ready like a viper. Perhaps Caroline wasn't deleted, which might be the fact that the human-lady-consciousness would prevent any harm coming towards Chell.

Honestly Chell never believed the announcer during her awakening when it declared that Caroline was deleted. Would that have not shut down GLaDOS for good or was Chell missing something? Regardless the outcome, she was here to stay with the robots, the tests and the AI who definitely wouldn't answer her questions…

'_Yet…' _Chell reminded herself as she followed Orange and Blue along.

* * *

By now Chell was pondering if GLaDOS instructed the robots to purposelessly draging her across all of Aperture so she could tire out. Currently she and the two testing robots were leading her across old, slightly rusted yet surprisingly durable panels with a couple of Turrets staring parallel from Chell like gargoyles. Walking past those Turrets were making Chell feel nauseous and uneasy; she could have sworn that Orange and Blue were glancing cautiously and shivering slightly when they walked past the robots.

"I'm different…"

Chell immediately paused as if one Turret suddenly activated it's self and aimed it's laser pointer directly at her head. With a flick of her head, Chell stared at one particular Turret along with Orange and Blue that watched curiously, exchanging hand gestures and speaking through a series of beeps.

Like all Turrets, it was white with a red optic and small pincers, although this one had some soot on it's once snow-white coated frame. Automatically Chell walked over to the rail, leapt over and went over to the Turret, her blue eyes flashing in distinguish and curiosum.

"You saved me," The Turret muttered, also recognizing the figure that he encountered. "Thank you again"

Orange and Blue exchanged glanced, beeping in fascination as they eyed the Turret. Tilting her head in wonder, Chell tested with signing-_**Can you understand sign language?**_

"I'm different," The Turret repeated then added few seconds later, saying slowly in its childlike tone. "I know many things and I see many things because I'm different…"

Taking that as a yes of understanding sign language, Chell again signed-_**How did you know about Caroline? How did you know about the quote Cave Johnson made? How **__**could **__**you possibly know?**_

"I knew because I already knew since the beginning of what was yet to come…"

Confused, Chell narrowed her blue eyes in wonder-_**So what are you? Someone who can see the future?**_

"Icarus made his wings out of wax so he could reach the sun, God, but when he got too close, the sun melted his wings and he descended. Maybe that is my punishment for treading against our creator's knowledge…" Interpreted the future-telling Turret.

Chell didn't know too much about morals or religion, but she understood what the Turret was referring to. It is clear that this Turret could tell the future and that he believes that he treaded the area of knowledge, and his creator is no doubt GLaDOS. Although why would GLaDOS want to get rid of such a fine Turret (or before)? Did she even know about this Turret's…power? Orange and Blue seemed scandalized, giggly, inquisitive and flabbergasted about this Turret so maybe GLaDOS didn't know about this Turret…

_**Do you have a name Turret?**_

"They say a Nameless man is a man with no purpose… I don't know my name…" Replied the Turret sombrely.

_**What do you want to be called? **_Chell signed, blinking at the Turret like a hawk.

"I'm like an oracle, one who foresees all like the woman called Caroline"

Chell pondered hard on what to call the Turret and even the two testing robots seem keened and interested in what was going to be the name of the Turret. Taping her temple, Chell thought hard as if it was a Sudoku. Suddenly an idea hit her head and she signed pleasantly-_**Oracle means 'someone who has visions of the future' so why not be called Vision?**_

An awkward silence came through the abandon area, which was soon broken by the pondering humming Oracle Turret. Both testing robots were shuffling like nervous kids, anticipating the results yet to come. After what seemed like forever the Turret replied cheerfully.

"Vision… Is different!" Dubbed Vision squeaked pleasingly.

Smiling Chell signed-_**Now you're not the so-called 'Nameless Man'.**_

"Like Jesus himself, he was punished by the Romans for something he did not do. I am to be incinerated but thank you anyway for naming a Nameless being…" Vision added sombrely, his red optic flickering aimlessly.

At that said Chell felt like her heart was shattered into million pieces like a mirror. Vision didn't do any wrong; he was just born with the gift of foretelling the future. Obviously he didn't mean to tread over the border of knowledge that GLaDOS possesses. Even Orange and Blue seem to pity the robot for it's uncalled for punishment.

"Have you reached your death-chamber yet? No? Well that's too bad; I was readying myself to record the event of your downfall…" Inquired GLaDOS impatiently over the PA. The camera turned over to the three figures, narrowing in confusion (Chell didn't even notice till now) taking in the scene. "Why are you hanging around the Turret Line anyway? This isn't what I ordered; trying to ambush me again like you did before with the moron? Honestly between you and me, I don't suggest that coarse of action, because it involves me being murdered…"

A glimmer of hope cast across Chell's face like a ship. Maybe she could convince GLaDOS to spare Vision! Turning to the camera that finally took notice Chell signed-_**Hey GLaDOS; can you spare this Turret? Please, I'm begging you to spare this Turret. It's not defected or destroyed; it's completely fine…**_

"Since when are you desperate for a Turret to live, Test Subject? They're simple-minded robots only made for one thing, testing and these ones unfortunately are… hmmm, let's say 'brain-dead' plus they're garbage, just like you…" GLaDOS stated simply and harshly.

Determined not to give up as always, Chell signed once more-_**Vision is perfectly fine for testing and besides he's different and-**_

"Now you're _naming_ the actual Turrets? Oh dear, you really are more delusional than I thought. Imagine you, waltzing through the test chambers and naming every Turret you see, completely oblivious to the fact that you'll be shot. Just thinking about it makes me wonder if you really are completely brain damaged, which honestly, it wouldn't be a surprise anymore…" GLaDOS snorted amusingly and rationally.

_**But you don't understand! **_Chell argued desperately, not wanting the poor Turret to be incinerated-_**Vision is different and special; he can predict the future!**_

For a second Chell thought the omnipotent AI would be speechless but she replied sceptically. "Foreseeing the future is proven by science to be impossible. But that's not what surprised me; what really surprised me was the fact that you have a sense of humour. So congratulations; you are the newly established president of the Delusional Club, along with your so-called, Oracle Turret"

Chell rolled her eyes and continued stubbornly-_**I'm not joking around! Ask Orange and Blue; they'll agree with me!**_

Predictably, the camera turned towards the two testing robots that were fidgeting nervously, watching the glaring camera that eyed them like a vulture. "Orange, Blue; is she telling the truth?"

Orange and Blue turned to each other briefly, communicating through their language then they turned back and nodded in agreement much to Chell's and Vision's relief. For a second the red optic of the camera narrowed then turned it's gaze back to Chell and Vision.

"You do realize that I'm very sceptical about this, but if you insist, then allow that Turret to prove it's self…" GLaDOS declared, now starting to loose the humour of this 'future-telling Turret' and growing agitated by the second.

A sigh of liberation came followed by a smile from the mute. She turned back to Vision and asked-_**Can you tell GLaDOS, your creator, about the vision you told me when I first saved you?**_

She wasn't sure what was Vision's reply but Chell hoped with all her heart that he understood what she referred to and agree on her request. Red light from the camera zoomed on Vision who finally began from what seemed like a trance.

"Don't make lemonade," He paused then continued. "Prometheus was cast down to the depths of the earth for gaining vast knowledge where he was plucked by birds," There was a buzz, marking that the Turret quickly changed its topic. "Her name is Caroline…"

Once that was said and done with, all was silent. Even the usual snarky AI was quite, probably pondering on an excuse for Vision knowing about 'lemonade' and 'Caroline'.

"This doesn't prove anything," Typical denial… "… But it's obvious that you're not going to drop the subject until I agree…"

In agreement Chell nodded, a stoic, stubborn look crossing her face as she stared at the red optic of the camera. Orange and Blue shivered nervously, making a noise that resembled a gulp of fright, clearly frighten of what their creator will do to the mute. Time once again seem to cease and there was not a single sound reverberating across the room. Sighing in defeat and impatience, GLaDOS declared.

"Very well then; if you love this Turret so much than you can keep it"

Outwardly Chell seemed solemn and respectful but inwardly she was leaping in joy as if she won an Oscar Award. Even Orange and Blue were pleased (yet scandalized) with the results that they were dancing in joy, something that made Chell chortle amusingly.

"On the other hand," Interrupted the scornful AI, which caused the group to pause and look up. "That Turret is to stay _away _from my chambers or testing field at _all _times. Are we happy, Test Subject?"

_**Yes, thankyou GLaDOS…**_

Without another sign, the mute turned and walked away into the distance she was heading, passing the two flabbergasted robots. While she headed towards the exit she heard a similar, childlike voice.

"Thank you…"

Along the tour Chell couldn't help but smile in victory for saving the Oracle Turret, Vision… Meanwhile the two testing robots stared up at the camera, pondering on their creator's agreement. Narrowing in displeasure, the AI questioned.

"Don't get used to this sort of thing, understand? I just don't want any recurring murder, that's all. So hurry along before that mute may attempt murder on me or I'll destruct you two… regeneration not included…"

On cue, both robots obeyed the threat and dashed after Chell with GLaDOS chuckling darkly…

* * *

Finally for what seemed like forever, Chell reached her destination. Blue eyes regarded the room while both robots stood parallel from her. The robot was… sloppy with an old bed that was stained in moss; a table with the Aperture radio stood nearby, humming off it's usual tune, but not as loud; the floor had wool and strings sticking out of the mattress and there was an old, decayed chair leaning against the wall.

Also the room wasn't too big; approximately three metres tall and five metres wide with the once white-coated walls drying off its colour due to the dampness. Even the room smelt of dampness. Entering the room the mute did a few turns as she stepped in, adjusting herself to her new room.

"This is where you'll sleep and eat," GLaDOS clarified through the PA. Pausing, Chell glanced around like a helpless dog to search for a possible camera. "Just by prediction I can tell that you're looking for one of my cameras. Well I spy no cameras. So relax; I wouldn't waste my time watching you sleep, it'd be quite boring and dare shall I say, quite tempting… to murder you that is"

'_Maybe she's being a bit too honest…' _Chell thought spitefully.

"Another reminder of this room," What could it be? "When I say eat, I mean _eat right here. _If I spot any scraps of food here you _will_ be incinerated, understood?"

Since there was no camera within the room (much to Chell's relief) she couldn't nod or sign in anyway.

"Good, I'm glad, huh, _glad_. That's the first time I said I'm glad in front of you, that's why it's so ironic," Sniggered the PA voice. "There is a shower not too far with running water… though I can't guarantee it's the waste kind"

Chell raised an eyebrow at the comment but waited patiently for GLaDOS to continue.

"Aperture has all that you require; toothbrush, food, water, shelter, toilet and of course, _testing. _Please don't complain about it or attempt to threaten me in allowing no tests, because I simply won't allow it. If you're that desperate to murder, then go ahead and murder my two testing robots"

Orange and Blue squealed in fright only to be cut off by a deep, sarcastic laugh. "No, I take that back… well, for now anyway," Orange and Blue sighed and patted each other's back in confront. "Orange, Blue, you may leave and continue your own testing"

Waving goodbye to the mute in front of them, both testing robots galloped away from the room and resume their own tests. Once again Chell felt the sudden solitude consume her and something in her throat threaten to escape like a jail breaker. Going over to the bed, the mute sat on the mattress, which bounced and hissed in reply. Quite a rough mattress but Chell slept on worse floorings before. Soon her throat lost and a yawn occurred making the mute feel groggy and weary.

"Tired after your first day here," GLaDOS butted in, causing Chell to flinch at the sudden tone. "Did you know the more people who have your _volume _are more easily tired than others?"

'_Hold on; did she just make a fat joke about me?' _Chell realized in agitation and offense.

"Oh, don't mind me; I'm just trying to share a scientific fact with my new guest" Spoke GLaDOS in monotone.

Ignoring her, Chell turned over to the arced radio to read the number: 7:00PM. Time definitely flew by in the blink of an eye and Chell had a funny feeling that it would only go faster.

'_One thing I can agree on with GLaDOS is that I'm definitely exhausted' _

Deciding to get some good, long deserved sleep, Chell lifted up her knees and unstrapped her trusty Long Fall Boots. After that she took off her old jump suit and placed it on the decayed chair and to finish it off she took off out her band, letting her raven hair slope down as if a fan blowing upwards at her face was shut off. Finally she laid herself down, adjusting her posture to test what was more comfortable.

Chell couldn't stop discerning about her experience for the past six days of escaping and returning; walking through an endless, golden wheat field, rediscovering buildings, surviving the mantis creature, returning back to Aperture, speaking with GLaDOS like an old acquaintance and equal, introduced to the two testing robots, reunited with the Oracle Turret, _naming _the Turret and now relaxing on this bed.

Blue eyes narrowed and blinked up the damped ceiling, repeating the same events through her head like a CD and comparing them to the days before, when she first began testing. 'Old habits die hard', a quote that Chell thought suited Aperture well or specifically GLaDOS herself.

"Sleeping?" Muttered a voice Chell grew accustomed of. "Well I don't mean to interject but I will say this…"

Raising her head at the calm, sincere tone, Chell waited for an answer from the AI.

"Try not to dream about me being a potato, it's humiliating and I rather not talk about it, _ever…_" Finished GLaDOS.

Snorting in amusement, Chell lowered her head, shook it side to side and closed her eyes.

'_Some old habits die hard…' _That was her last thought and then she went to sleep…

* * *

**Author's Note: Chapter 2 done and dusted. Thank you all for your kind, flattering reviews and favourites :D! Next chapter will have a bit of… crack XD! Enjoy and review :)!**


	3. Chapter 3: The Randomness

A SERIES OF APERTURE EQUIPMENT, METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING

Chapter 3: The Randomness

While the bed was hard and not really comfortable as predicted, Chell grew oblivious when she fell asleep. Shallow breaths came through her nostrils in a slow pattern, her chest rising up and down like the tides. Surprisingly she was having a good sleep-

"Time to get up and begin your first tests, Test Subject!" Spoke a gleeful, female, synthesized voice that belonged to the one and only GLaDOS.

Groaning groggily and in denial, Chell just turned to the left side, clutching her knees high to her throat. Suddenly a train horn echoed piercingly through the speaker in her room, startling the mute who reacted immediately by shooting upwards, her blue eyes darting around like someone who's been caught in an affair.

"There… Oh, did I wake you up? Wait, don't respond to that-for that was the whole point of that noise, to wake you up"

Cursing within, Chell rubbed her groggy eyes; a breathless moan came as a reply. She turned to the digital clock. Blue eyes widen in scandalize at the time. 6:00PM, exactly. Sighing, Chell grasped her band and tied her raven hair into a ponytail nice and slowly like a turtle.

"Did you have any dreams of me defeating you? That would have been the highlight of your return" Jested GLaDOS curiously and mockingly.

'_You wish' _Chell thought amusingly as she got up and stretched out like a freeborn bird.

"Before we begin testing, I need you to have a shower for the sake of this facility shutting down due to how foul you look. But then again, you've always looked hideous," Declared the AI sardonically. "I'll give you fifteen minutes to prepare; that also includes breakfast and hygiene, so get to it."

Without a word, the mute walked like a zombie out of her room to the shower down the right end of the corridor near the toilets. As she walked someone called out keenly.

"Vision… Is different!"

Smiling, Chell waved and signed at the Turret that stood in her way-_**Good morning Vision, how is my favourite oracle feeling?**_

"Vision is happy, though you should beware…" Vision warned solemnly.

Narrowing her eyebrows and frowning uneasily she signed-_**Why's that? Another vision?**_

"Loki was the trickster among the gods; always causing trouble that he found amusing…" Vision silently uttered to Chell like a speech.

Blinking the mute waited patiently for more to be said but Vision was still as a gargoyle. Shrugging, Chell walked around the Turret and proceeded to the showers, her mind pondering on what he meant.

Trickster, sounds a bit like GLaDOS but what kind of trickery? Maybe she tricked Chell to believe that there was testing to be done or changing the digital clock's digits to 6:00PM or maybe it was something more devious.

Still, the mute shrugged it off yet she proceeded with slight tension and caution. When she arrived she saw a white towel hung over the rim of the shower door and a timer with fifteen minutes displayed. Walking over, the mute took off her garments and undergarments and stepped into the glass room. As she turned the tap on cold a sudden blast of hot water gushed out like a waterfall.

Chell yelped in slight agony as she felt herself burn that she quickly changed her hand to the hot tap, hoping that it was a silly mix up; cold tap is hot and hot tap is cold. With a turn some dark, murky ooze came spluttering down from the shower, oozing from head to bottom like a chocolate fountain.

"Whoops, my bad; it would have seem that the showers aren't functioning properly due to the old age. Hmmm, now that I think about it, it is technically _your _fault. If only you didn't murder me than the showers would have functioned perfectly," GLaDOS interjected with false sympathy. "Try another one, and hurry, you only have thirteen minutes left"

Grumbling her throat in agitation and annoyance, Chell preceded her search for a shower that worked… _properly..._

* * *

Five minutes. Five minutes was wasted during the shower and now GLaDOS pestered her about gathering her own breakfast. Fortunately the mud was off and her burns were cooled off but they stung when she put her clothing on.

Finding and hunting for her breakfast wasn't as hard as she believed it would be. Yes, her animal/food, a red fox with beautiful, warm, brown eyes was quite quick and sly around the overgrown facility but Chell knew this area more than the fox. If she had the Portal Gun with her it would have been _much _easier to catch the fox, but she managed to find a sharp, broken shard from a smashed computer, climb up a high ledge and jump on the fox, cutting it's artery located in the neck.

She didn't like it one bit, especially when the fox had glanced up with pleading, fearful eyes, but it was the only way she could survive; that's what nature was, survival of the fittest and smartest. After that she brushed her teeth and proceeded to the test chamber that the AI later instructed. Now she was in the chamber, where the Dual Portal Gun stood on a pillar in front of her.

"One minute, that is how late you are," '_It's better than five…' _"Regardless; you're here, and you're ready for your first test back here"

Chell glared at the camera, hands on hips, taping her foot, clearly not over the shower incident that happened a few minutes ago.

"Don't look so cross; why are you blaming me for the shower? Did I not clearly state that the showers are over _hundreds of years old_? Everything including me was destroyed so I can't see why you're blaming me. You're very good on putting the blame on me when it clearly isn't my fault," GLaDOS denied, narrowing the red camera optic. "So waddle over to the Portal Gun and begin testing…"

Blue eyes rolled at the melodramatic speech made by the Goddess of Aperture. Still she proceeded towards the podium and took the ASPHD and placed it through her arm. When she cocked the device onto her arm, a sudden jolt moved throughout her arm like a spider. Oh, it felt _strange _to have the crown jewel of Aperture return to her arm after a week. Ever since she began her tests, she grew attached and used to the Portal Device that stripping it off was like being stripped bare. Funny when Chell thought about the irony of feeling 'complete' with the ASHPD…

"Quit savouring the Portal Gun as if it were cake-which you'll never receive-and proceed with the testing"

'_Here goes_'

In a sprint Chell was off, dashing through the test chambers and solving like puzzles.

* * *

Did anyone ever tell Chell how awkward it felt when going through a portal? Every time she went through a portal of any colour she felt a sudden jolt tingle down her spine as if a cold finger ran down the actual she felt like she was dissolved and regenerated like a never-ending cycle that use to make her feel nauseous at first, but she got over it. Also the Portal Gun was heavier than it looks so lifting it up in the air and firing was difficult…

Currently she was in her fifth test chamber, which GLaDOS guaranteed (doubt) that this was her last test for now. This chamber had a bulletproof glass wall protecting her from the child-tone Turrets with portal-able walls above them and a Companion Cube right beside the one on the end. There are five Turrets, one cube and one way to solve this. All she had to do was shoot a portal above and below and take down those Turrets quickly.

Smiling confidently, not pondering on how easy this test was, Chell fired a portal above where the Turret was before it could fire. A burst of blue energy shot through in a static hiss and it soon plastered on the wall to farm a huge circle of wavering energy. Before Chell could fire the orange portal a voice announced.

"Initiate test surprise in 3…2 …1"

Test surprise? Panels on both sides of Chell started to flip open and out came miniature cannons. Darting around, Chell tried to look around for a blind spot so the cannons wouldn't fire but it was too late, she was going to die. Blue eyes darted nervously and she saw a fire come from the cannon, marking her death. So this was it… All she ever worked for, for nothing. Unnecessarily, Chell raised an arm to block the bomb, knowing well that it wouldn't make a difference.

SPLAT!

Something yellow and oozy exploded right in front of her face with the ooze slipping down like honey. Lowering her arm cautiously, the mute eyed the ooze splattered on her arm and curiously took a sniff and lick. Bitter and sour some-hold on, this tasted like-SPLAT!

Another bomb exploded on her back, splattering ooze like a paintball on her shirt. Grunting another bomb fired at her torso, then calf until all the cannons started to go into rapid-fire mode. All she could here was the bombing of the bombs and the dark, humorous laugh of GLaDOS echoing across the chamber.

These weren't bombs; these were lemons…

_...combustible_ lemons.

So it was possible but what was the point of creating them? They were the ideas of a delirious and mad man so-oh. Now that Chell thought about it, GLaDOS was just mocking her. _Loki was a trickster amongst the gods, _that trickster was GLaDOS, both the combustible lemons and the shower!

Once all the splattering stopped, all was quiet that not even the Turrets echoed any comment. Blue eyes opened slowly (they were shielded before) and glanced down below. She twisted her side to get a good look at her backside. All her body from head to toe was covered in yellow, slippery, bitter, sour ooze of a series of lemons that blew up once they made contact with you.

"Now _that_ is how you begin a test, Test Subject," GLaDOS chuckled deeply and jovially. Chell turned slowly, glaring in agitation, betrayal and silent rage at the camera. "Oh come on. I said I'd give you a real surprise, so here it is: a series of Aperture-made combustible lemons aimed directly at you. They were modified personally by me just to let you know. Maybe you can go and wash off the lemon ooze in the showers…" She sneered.

Growling, Chell just walked away through the open panel out of the test and back to the dreaded showers, listening to the mocks coming from the omnipotent AI.

"At least I'm showing you the courtesy of using a shower…but then again someone of your…generousness wouldn't understand…"

* * *

By the time Chell ended another shower (she made sure to check) she was sitting down on a chair in an office with a look of annoyance and slight defeat. How foolish of her to not see that coming, how gullible… Sighing, Chell lowered her posture until something caught her eyes. There was a white box art thing between the shelves just sticking out. Curiously, Chell took out the box art and examined it. Blue eyes widen in scandalize and then they narrowed in determination as she lifted her head. GLaDOS may have won the first round but Chell would win the next…

* * *

Arriving at GLaDOS' chamber startled the AI slightly who shifted her chassis to face the subject walking up to her with hands behind her back.

"So once again you don't understand a bit of humour. You remember when I explained a joke to you earlier? I just thought you didn't understand what a joke was so I decided that the best way to express what a joke is, is to play a joke on you and I can see you finally understand" Explained the AI humbly.

Tapping her foot impatiently was the only reply that GLaDOS got from the mute. Her golden optic narrowed as she tilted her head over "What's that behind your back? Don't try and fool me to think there isn't something behind your back. Gods, don't tell me that you're trying to murder me again? Honestly you're over exaggerating; do you kill anyone who makes a joke?"

Deciding that it was time to show the box art, Chell took out the white-cased item and shoved it in front of her so that the golden optic can reflect on it. Her massive white-coated face loomed over it.

"'Mario Kart Wii'?"

Chell nodded, lowering the cover until she was staring directly into the optic. GLaDOS narrowed her optic and in realization she craned her neck to the left.

"You've… got to be kidding me…"

Chell shook her head and finally signed-_**I challenge you to a game of Mario Kart! **_

"Do you obviously realize whom your up against? I'm an AI, a being so perfect that I surpass all scientists combined together. A childish video game is no different. Do you still wish to challenge me knowing this, Lunatic?" GLaDOS explained rationally and sceptically.

Her reply was a determined nod. A metallic sigh came from the robot that then spoke deeply.

"Well then; prepare to fail miserably and embarrass yourself once more…"

Smiling, Chell pointed to GLaDOS… '_You're on…'_

* * *

Once all the equipment and apparatuses were set, Chell sat down crossed legged near GLaDOS. They went through the title screen, chose two players and were now on the 'select a character' screen.

Glancing up, Chell's eyes curiously questioned-_Who are you going to choose, GLaDOS?_

"I'll choose that woman, Rosalina, for she is graceful, beautiful and elegant, exactly like me, only I'm better," GLaDOS declared narcissistically as she chose the character. She didn't use a remote, instead she hardwired herself to have similar controls like the remote Chell found. "Plus I'll go with a car; it's more easier to turn than a bike"

Chell nodded in acknowledgement and turned forward to the screen, tapping her chin to ponder on a character. After a while she picked her character and signed to the AI-_**I'll go with Yoshi, because I think he's cute.**_

"May I recommend the red plumber for you? I just believe he represents you more than the lizard, for he has _'volume' _that rivals yours" GLaDOS suggested caustically, tilting her chassis to the test subject.

Rolling her eyes, Chell chose a motorbike and the screen changed to the 'level select'. Looking at each level Chell challenged-_**You want to try Rainbow Road?**_

"The hardest level on this pitiful game? Of course…" The AI agreed.

Once it was clicked both rivals readied themselves for the challenge ahead. On the screen the lights went off and both races were off. Chell kept her stubborn, determined look while GLaDOS kept a monotone look. After a sharp turn, Yoshi fell off the ledge, which made the mute scold in frustration and curse, much to the AI's amusement.

"Here; I'll stop for you to have a head start," GLaDOS paused, stopping Rosalina for a few seconds and then zoomed off. "Just kidding…" She chuckled.

But the laugh was over for her when a Big Bill shot past her player, knocking her off the edge, shocking the Goddess of Aperture. All she could here was the giggling of Chell as she zoomed past the AI, a smile of triumph plastered on her face.

"Don't gloat about it; I was merrily off guard by your hideousness" GLaDOS lied like a spoiled child.

'_But of course; I'll stop for you to have a head start' _Chell thought as she glanced over at her rival.

Snorting, the AI continued to pilot Rosalina through the course. One lap was done and both players weren't going to let the other remain victorious. Chell was currently in 3rd place while GLaDOS was in 2nd.

'_I got to get an item box'_

Swivelling the remote, Yoshi got the item box only to realise that it was the false red duplicate. It stopped Chell briefly, and she still went strong, even if she dropped into 5th place. Mario got a Red Koopa Shell and fired at Yoshi, making the cart flip much to GLaDOS' frustration giving Chell a chance to catch up. First place didn't matter; what mattered was Chell beating the AI who kept beating her. Soon both figures reached the cannon, with Chell in 3rd and GLaDOS in 4th. When Yoshi shot through, followed by Rosalina, GLaDOS commented.

"Look at you soar through the air like an eagle-wait… my bad; I thought the red plumber was you due to the resemblance" Chell simply snorted, her eyes rolling slightly at the AI's joke.

As they soared, the mute quickly turned and signed as fast as possible-_**And I thought you were Bowser, the big shell guy.**_

"Excuse me, did you just _offend_ me?" She turned her chassis over to the mute, her golden optic wide in flabbergast and then shook in melodramatic rage. "Oooh, this is officially on, Test Subject!"

When they landed, both boosted when they got some Mushrooms, overtaking some players along the way. This was the final lap, and both players were now giving it their all.

"Prepare to loose…"

Chell smiled then frowned when she saw a little icon at the bottom of the screen. Blue eyes lit up in fright.

'_Oh no!'_

"What is with that little icon-?" Too late…

A giant Diddy Kong drove through, squashing Chell and GLaDOS like pancakes much to their embarrassments. Still going strong, both players recovered and Chell was in 2nd place while GLaDOS was on 6th place. After a few falls, shots and turns the finish line was in front with Chell looking like the victor.

'_I'm going to win! Hah, I beat GLaDOS!' _Chell thought gleefully, performing a wheel.

GLaDOS noticed how her test subject was beating her, and she did _not _want to loose to that mute… An idea hit her. Suddenly the screen fizzled like a broken recorder, startling the mute. But what startled her was that she was frozen on the spot and that Big Bill was coming her way! It slammed into her, flinging her off the ledge. When the bullet morphed the player was revealed to be GLaDOS in 1st place! Chell's mouth hung agape like a fish, too shocked to sign anything; everything went so fast!

"As I expected; I win," GLaDOS spoke, not hiding the victory in her tone, her massive body tall and prideful like a deer.

Glaring back at the AI, the mute dropped the remote, stood up and pointed accusingly-_**You cheated it!**_

"I seriously don't know where you're getting these thoughts. Me, _cheating_? Did I not clearly inform you that I am an AI, a perfect being of knowledge that surpasses all like yourself? Has your pitiful brain-damaged, delusional brain forgot that so soon? Dear me, you may seem to suffer mild-forgetfulness" The way she spoke was like an innocent child who was abused mentally.

Rolling her eyes, Chell pouted-_**I was clearly in front of you before I went through the finish line…**_

"Here we go again; you putting all the blame on me. Could this be a new record?" GLaDOS replied dryly and cynically.

There was no remark made by the mute; she simply crossed her arms, a look angry and then she turned around, facing away from the Goddess of Aperture.

"Hmph, go ahead and be a sore loser; that isn't going to get you any cake" GLaDOS snorted pleasingly.

Doing so, Chell simply walked away, ashamed and annoyed at the AI for once again 'winning'. All Chell could hear was GLaDOS humming mockingly and boastfully through the chambers.

* * *

In the corridor that displayed potatoes for 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day', Chell sat down and leaned against a stand, a look of agitation and lost. Every time she was close to succeeding, GLaDOS always surprised her through her usual tricks. Today she malfunctioned the showers, shot _actual _Combustible Lemons at her side, took another shower and lost to Mario Kart Wii. Oh, how she can still hear the mocks and gloats of her former rival through the PA system.

Leaning her chin on her palms, the mute gave off a breathless sigh, a look of determination. There has to be something she could beat GLaDOS in but what? Blue eyes seem to narrow in deep ponder but then something went over her like cold water and a mischievous smirk was plastered on her mouth. Yes, the mute had another idea and she was absolutely certain that this would work…

* * *

Chell returned back to the AI's chambers much to GLaDOS' joy. Soon she paused, her hands behind her back, an Oscar Award Winning smile plastered on her face like a permanent picture.

"So have you returned to admit that I am no-doubt perfect and superior to you? Please, don't flatter yourself for such an achievement" GLaDOS teased, her golden optic gleaming like the sun.

_**Maybe… only if you win in this next event I planned for you, my dear AI… **_Chell couldn't help but allow her smile to become more sinister, flinching the AI.

"You just don't learn and give up do you?" Commented the huge figure, tilting her squared head to the right like an ominous owl. Growling, she demanded. "What is it now? Can't you see that I'm preparing for the next time I'll use Combustible Lemons on you? Here's a useful hint; I'll probably use it on you at night while you sleep"

_**This… **_Taking out her hand behind her back, she took out two potatoes, sticking it up like the scene in 'Lion King'. GLaDOS recoiled her chassis, hissing like a cat at the potatoes as if it was her old time foe.

"You wouldn't dare-your delusional mind is taking control of you so just calm down and back away peacefully; I have neurotoxins and I will use it!"

_**Oh I won't put you back in a potato; I'm not that cruel! I just want to play a game where you doodle a face and body on the vegetable, between us two-**_Two black pens were raised from her pocket-_**I have two pens here, so it's between you and me…**_ She placed a potato down below the AI and went over to her spot.

Sitting down in front of the raged-filled GLaDOS, Chell precede sketching with her pen, her head tilting to the right and left as if she was humming to music and savouring the beat. Occasionally, Chell would glance up occasionally, allowing her hand to automatically sketch and eye the Aperture Goddess like a shy child peaking from the corner. All she could see was GLaDOS eyeing down at the potato as if it were a slave not remarking or moving one of her pincers. Ten minutes have passed and Chell dropped her hands when she was done.

'_Done…!'_

Rising up her doodled potato in smugness she signed with her free hand-_**I'm done! Now can I see yours?**_

Shocking, GLaDOS didn't raise her head to acknowledge the mute's presence nor make a remark. Waltzing over, Chell's blue eyes regarded the potato to see if she drew something. Nothing, not even one dot was drawn on the vegetable. A silent cheer came from the mute who lifted her arms up like a touchdown. GLaDOS glared at her test subject dancing around in conquest.

_**I win! I actually won this once! Hah! Some perfect AI you are!**_

She was cheering, at her phobia… "Do you find this hysterical?" GLaDOS muttered silently and slowly.

Before she knew it, Chell felt a sharp, metallic claw grasp around her waist, knocking the breath out of her. Fear consumed Chell as she saw the AI loom over, her golden optic glaring at Chell's innocent, blue eyes. There was no point in squirming or arguing; Chell tried once but it failed.

"So you think someone's phobia is hilarious, do you?" GLaDOS shrieked hatefully startling Chell. "Then again, what could I expect from a monster like you. Are you satisfied now?"

Chell couldn't believe what her former-rival was saying. GLaDOS was really frightened about a potato… One would think that's funny but after what she's been through…Inwardly, Chell cursed herself, her eyes widen in realization and sympathy. True, she's been through a lot but poor GLaDOS was reduced to a potato that was being pecked to death by a bird, helpless and defenceless. For once GLaDOS felt so vulnerable and Chell _cheered _about it. Honestly, Chell felt like a jerk…

"Have nothing to say I see-then again you are a mute," Feeling herself lower, Chell felt the floor beneath her Long Fall Boots; the claws constructing her like a cobra lessening till it slithered away. "Leave now or you definitely _won't _be the president of the Being Alive Club…" Silently and without another word, GLaDOS twisted away until she wasn't facing the mute.

In all her life Chell would never ever thought she would have felt sympathy, sorrowful and a jerk to GLaDOS. She went too far, and she suffered the consequences and now she was going to apologise. Boldly and stiffly but without being sly, Chell marched forward, making sure her Long Fall Boots stomped so the noise could lure the AI. On cue, GLaDOS turned her chassis until she faced Chell who continue her approach until she was a metre close to the AI. Recoiling, GLaDOS warned-

"Get back or I will launch the neurotoxins and knowing from experience, you certainly wouldn't like that…"

Ignoring her, Chell approached with a sorrowful frown and stretched out her arm like an emu until she felt the side of the huge machine's white plating. Physically GLaDOS flinched ever so slightly at the contact made by her former rival who continues to bring her arm inward as she approached. Chell paused and stroked the white chasing that served as a cheek lovingly and apologetically.

_**I'm sorry… I just wanted to beat you in something but I can see that I went too over aboard… **_There was a pause as Chell lowered her head and stroked the cheek once more-_**I'm truly, honestly, sincerely sorry for scaring you…**_

That actually sounded… sincere and apologetic, for a monster anyway… GLaDOS continue to eye the girl who has never been this close to her original body before and having the gall of _touching_ her lovingly… An awkward silence seem to come through but it was soon broken by GLaDOS.  
"I wasn't scared; I was startled at how stupid your… game was"

Chell grinned; sarcastic, narcissist and prideful, that was the GLaDOS she knew.

"This has been a very, very random day…"

Moving away until her hand wasn't touching the casing the mute turned and walked away from the chamber, leaving the whole day to an end.

"Another thing, Test Subject…"

Pausing at the doorway, the said test subject turned over to the rather embarrassed, uncharacteristic looking AI. The way she looked was like a child shuffling her feet until her head rose.

"Your greasy hand has touched my beautiful face. At dusk sharp I expect you to bring a bucket of water and clean scrub to wipe of your grease marks off my face as punishment of being so bold of touching me. I know I'm irresistible, but that's no excuse, you monster…"

For the first time coming back, Chell expected the kind of comment from GLaDOS. Oh, how this has been a random day…

* * *

**Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this unusual instalment and little Vision appearing again :)! Oh how I love the twisted-friendship between the two former rivals :D! By the way, I have an important question**: **should I include some '**_**Half-Life' **_**references? And I don't mean Gordon or Alyx, but just… references like the creatures? Review and tell me what you think and give some feedback too.**


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